5 Podcasts That Help You Pretend We’re Still Living Real Life
The UK’s most confessional shows at the moment.
To get you in the mood, I’ll start with a confession of my own: I love eavesdropping. Don’t we all? Time was, I’d get my fix easily. I wouldn’t even need to go out of my way. On public transport, at work, in a bar, a restaurant — people would be having incredibly intimate, private conversations in public. And, come on, if they didn’t want me to listen, they’d be quiet, right?
I can tell you’re not convinced. Maybe you think I’m a terrible person. Ok look, fine, I’ll save you the trouble, I am a terrible person. But I’m the kind of terrible person who also loves people’s stories. That’s what eavesdropping is all about. We need stories, it’s human nature. What’s fiction if not living vicariously? It’s only by hearing other people’s stories can we begin to make sense of our own. And real-life stories? Well, they give the best lessons, don’t they? By listening to how people live, the decisions they make, the advice they give, we learn. It’s why we can’t resist the urge to eavesdrop.
Let me give you an example. On the way into town last December, I sat opposite two girls on the tube. They were in their early twenties, young and slick and beautiful. Eyeliner on point and copycat club outfits, giddy anticipation of the night ahead shimmering around them like an aura. Their conversation was light, easy, punctuated by laughter. They were clearly good friends, close friends. For the next 30 minutes they chatted unselfconsciously about their exes. Their flaws. Their fetishes. Their foibles. So it took me a while to realise they were talking about the same man. The man who’d cheated on them both. The man whose fuckwittery had brought them together. The man whose worst nightmare was realised when this wonderful friendship rose phoenix like from the ashes of his idiocy. They brought it all to life for the benefit of the carriage, celebratory. It felt like immersive theatre. Like performance art. It was joyous, life affirming. Tell me you could resist listening to that.
So when the pandemic hit and I had to stay home, I was bereft. No more listening in to the human condition for me. What’s a girl to do? Risk COVID sitting behind anti-maskers on the 101 bus as they mourn their dearly departed? Time travel back to my teens and re-listen to BBC Radio One’s Our Tune?[1] Post listening devices through my neighbours door? Even I’m not that crazy. In desperation, I turned to the world of podcasts and boy, did they deliver.
So let’s get the common misconceptions about podcasts out of the way first. Yes, a lot of them are three white men in a room riffing endlessly about how their favourite sci-fi series isn’t as good as it used to be now a woman has joined the cast. Or brutally dissecting a violent rape and murder cold case in a borderline fetishistic way. Or some insubstantial Z-list celebrity’s ill-judged and vainglorious clamouring for even more attention. But there is gold if you dig deep enough. So pop in your headphones and together we’ll unearth the raw, emotional, uplifting, confessional, sparkling nuggets of true life shining beneath the surface.
First up is How did we get here[2]. Make no mistake, this is the real deal. Unscripted, searing, and thought-provoking, each episode is one person’s conversation with clinical psychologist, Professor Tanya Byron.
It is not salacious. It is not emotional porn. It is empowering. Gripping. And absolutely magical. It won’t tell you how to live your life, or raise your kids, or fix your relationship, but it will make you realise that you knew what to do all along. Look, I’ve had a lot of therapy, and maybe this is why I am such a fan of this podcast, but seriously, check it out. It will help you understand yourself and your actions, but most importantly, stop you wasting your time. Again and again, the message is this: you can control only your own actions, and who among us doesn’t need to hear that?https://somethinelse.com/projects/how-did-we-get-here/
Another podcast that deserves a mention is Grounded with Louis Theroux. I should start with a disclaimer: I didn’t always get Theroux. In fact, I went out of my way to avoid his TV shows. The lanky awkwardness. The soft-voiced yet direct questions. The perceived affectation. I couldn’t bear it. But I love this podcast, so I’m thinking that perhaps it’s just his face that grates. Sorry Louis.
Understandable then, that I initially resisted listening, not wanting to contract Irritated Ear Syndrome[3]. But then, the sheer number of recommendations started to sway me. Not the relentless slew of “If-you-like-this-you-might-also-like” clickbait. From people I know. From people who know me. And I am so glad I caved.
It was recorded over Lockdown [4] and there’s something about this podcast that weirdly embody the essence of that time. The global grief, that need to connect, the universal re-evaluation of life. It lends it a strange, otherworldly air to the conversations and deliciously, irresistibly, gives you the undeniable sense that they all forgot they were being recorded. As Louis chats with his high-profile guests, they don’t always give him an easy ride — Rose McGowan is a case in point — so, for those suffering from Acute Theroux Allergy[5], there is an unexpected rawness and edge. These conversations make you feel like you are accidentally overhearing an hour-long heart to heart between friends whilst hiding in a wardrobe. I mean, I’ve certainly not ever done that, but you know what I mean, right? https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p08j2xn0
Next up, for a dose of every day, down to earth realness, it has to be The Receipts.
Hosted by everybody’s fantasy best friends Milena, Tolly T and Audrey, this speaks from, for and to the black, female, British experience. I am not the target demographic. Does it matter? No. The whole point of this joyous, no-nonsense, sensitive, and empowering podcast is that it is completely relatable. It is for everyone. It’s raw, it’s funny and even better, it’s brutally honest. And the best bit? Because it has three hosts, it has that no-holds-barred-empowering-club-bathroom-solidarity-sisters-advice-from-strangers vibe[6] that I have really, really missed. So if you’re after a feast of unadulterated tough love for anything and everything dilemmas, then The Receipts is the one for you. https://www.instagram.com/thereceiptspodcast/?hl=en
Ok, so, remember earlier when I criticised frothy celebrity chit chat podcasts? I take that back. Sort of. Yes, Sex, Lies and DM Slides does have a slightly gossipy, salacious undertone, but there is something remarkable about it too. It has an unashamedly female focus: skewering societal misogyny, turning a mirror on objectification, poking a finger in the eye of the male gaze. It is wonderfully empowering and uplifting. But also, it is unexpectedly challenging.
As these two strong, no-nonsense female hosts, Gizzy Erskine (41) and Sydney Lima (27), delve into the dark side of sex and social media, they reveal markedly different views on what is and isn’t acceptable, and why. Is it a generational thing? Perhaps. Whatever your age, this podcast will definitely make you wonder why you’ve put up with men’s bullshit for so long and how much of it is learned behaviour. Sex, Lies and DM slides brought this Gen Xer face to face with my own internalised misogyny. In time to prevent me passing it on to my Gen Z kids? We’ll see. Epiphanies aside, the best takeaway from this podcast was finding out that celebrities get unsolicited dick pics too. And in some cases, from whom. https://www.instagram.com/sexliesdmslides/?hl=en
And now for something completely different. As in, not real. It is, of course, the inimitable Dear Joan and Jericha, everyone’s favourite filthy — and fictional — agony aunts. If you haven’t heard it, you’re in for a treat. Julia Davis and Vicky Pepperdine have created deliciously awful comedy characters in the eponymous Joan Damry and Jericha Domain.
Judgemental and accusatory, the duo tackle everyday problems in the worst way possible, giving the kind of self-immolating destructive advice that women’s magazines have been forcing down our throats for years. It is achingly, stomach clenchingly, weepingly funny. Totally wrong. The antithesis of everything else I have recommended. Irresistible. https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dear-joan-and-jericha-julia-davis-and-vicki-pepperdine/id1376577916
So, there you go. No need to thank me. I just wanted to make sure you had enough to see you through the next 6 months of lockdown. And if you have any recommendations for me, or better still, the irresistible urge to discuss your terrible mutual ex-boyfriend with your bestie while I pretend to read a paper, I’m all ears.
[1] Nostalgia freaks can listen here — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcVt67FOZek
[2] Trigger warning: Slightly grating ads.
[3] Not a real thing.
[4] The Spring-Summer 2020 edition
[5] Also not a thing.
[6] Something I wish I could bottle.
